Well that sucked. Where do you go from here?

where do you go from hereIn recent weeks, I’ve shared about the first baby steps of moving on after a challenging situation, my formula for working with positive thinking, and how to shift into being solution focused.

And all of that leads me to today. Because as I looked back on those recent posts, I realized I’d been building towards something…even if I hadn’t been doing it consciously.

I know that almost every single client I’ve ever had has come to me after some kind of challenge in their life. Or, in the midst of that challenge.  When I use the word challenge here, what I really mean is ‘some kind of crazy, messed up situation they never dreamed would be a part of their life’.  Reaching the point of absolute overwhelm in your life, major illness (for themselves or a loved one), job loss (or hating the career they are in), divorce, and other trauma.

There comes a time in those challenges where you realize you are ready to move on with your life (even if you’re going to do it kicking and screaming) (see How to Start Again). When you put together a hazy and half-formed vision for what you want coming out of this challenge and begin to do that Law of Attraction stuff to try to make it happen (see When Positive Thinking Isn’t Enough). When you are ready to be solution focused in how you are going to create a life you love, rather than being stuck in the story of what happened to you (see There’s Always a Solution).

And then what? Where do you go from here?

You’re ready to face the world and begin building your life again.  Building it differently because this challenge has shaken you up through loss or change you never imagined. Building it differently because as you’ve reflected on what has happened, you know you want to live your life differently.  To live more purposefully.  To be real, authentic, and open to possibility.

But how do you do that?  Most people turn to self-help books or some other DIY project. But the truth is that the kind of change you’re imagining for yourself isn’t going to be helped by working your way through the latest best-seller or the trendy podcast. And the reason it doesn’t work is because it’s a generic book written to simplify a message in a way that can be accessible to thousands of people. It’s not unique to you and your life.

It’s also not helpful because you don’t already have the framework, knowledge and experience to accomplish your goal.  If you did, you’d already be doing what you dream of.  And you don’t yet have the framework, knowledge and experience because you haven’t yet learned and experienced the changes you want to make for yourself.

It’s missing the key ingredients that make you successful in living your life on your terms.

As you are staring at your life, assessing what feels good and what feels broken, trying to figure out what’s next and feeling fear and trepidation at making the wrong move or maybe even making no move at all, it can feel overwhelming.  And yet, what you do need can be broken down into 3 small steps:

  • simple processes for facing your new reality with honesty, bravery, compassion and celebration
  • practical steps for reconnecting with yourself and developing both a clear vision of what you want for your life and an uncomplicated plan for what to do to begin creating the reality you dream of
  • guidance for building a support network of people who will honestly and lovingly be there with you as you build your life again

I thought about writing more about each of them, but this post is already at 619 words.  So, instead I’m going to offer you something better.  I’m going to offer a live call next week to talk about these 3 small steps, what each of them really entail, and how you can begin working with them in your life immediately.

Want to learn more? You can register here for this free call.

Photo Credit: Phil Whitehouse | Flickr

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Rachel is a coach supporting women to rediscover who they are beyond the *shoulds* of life. To create and live life on purpose.

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