I have a big pet peeve. Want to know what it is?
Whining and complaining.
And, I’ve got a 7 year old daughter, so whining and complaining happens a lot around here.
After years of saying ‘stop whining’ I realized that I wasn’t following one of my own beliefs. A belief that it’s much easier and more successful to focus on adding in a new behavior rather than trying to just stop an old one. So, what was the new behavior that I want to help her achieve?
When I got to the core of it all, it’s about becoming solution focused.
Complaining about what’s wrong is really surrendering your power and authority to the problem. It’s investing your precious time and energy into aligning with the problem. It’s about being the victim and giving up. Even if it’s just a little bit.
On the other hand, you can choose to confidently know that you can resolve a problem. You can choose to spend your precious time and energy aligning with a solution. It’s about being the leader of your own life and asking for (or demanding) what you deserve. Even if it’s just a little bit.
If you’re not used to being solution focused, it takes practice. Whether it’s in my home with my daughter or in my office with clients, I’m asking the same question a lot these days. It’s a question that helps you to step into solution focus. To step into leading your life. And I’m sharing this powerful little turn-around with you today.
When you find yourself complaining about a problem – whether it’s aloud to your partner or a girlfriend, or even just quietly in your own head – pause for a moment and ask yourself:
“Am I complaining about a problem? Or am I asking for a solution?”
This begins to shift your focus towards a solution. It reinforces the desire to find a solution. And in that quick turn-around, you’ll notice that the energy of the situation shifts. That your awareness begins to open up into a moment of possibility.
In that moment of possibility, you can ask for what you need. For what you desire. For what you deserve.
In that moment of possibility, the problem begins to shift into a solution.
And when you spend most of your time being solution focused, life begins to look a little better. You’re able to see how things can turn out for the best.
So, will you give it a try?
Photo Credit: Livia Korandy