Seriously, it’s time to stop pretending to be perfect.
The other day I shared this inspirational quote on Facebook. Along with it, I wrote “I am ready. The last 6-7 months have been hard, and it is time to transform this life into something amazing!”
Seems pretty normal, right? I certainly thought so. It was also true and from my heart.
One of the things that happened after I posted it was a phone call from a friend. He said to me ‘You’re supposed to be a successful life coach and you’re posting stuff like that. Don’t you worry it’s going to affect your business? People aren’t going to want to work with you if they think your life isn’t perfect.’
I sat there for a moment, stunned. And then I answered him. And what I said is a message that I want to share with each and every one of you.
I believe that what makes me good in my work isn’t that my life is perfect. Rather, it’s the imperfection that makes me exceptional.
My marriage failed, so I know what it’s like to feel like you are starting life over again while somehow also giving yourself time and space to grieve loss. I’ve lived through an abusive relationship, so I know what it’s like to feel responsible for getting so far off track for what you imagined in your life and having to somehow steer the ship in the right direction again. I’ve lost jobs and transitioned careers, so I know what it’s like to figure out what to do next while also recovering the loss of your identity connected to that career. I raise a kid who has her own set of challenges, and she has been my greatest teacher of not needing to be perfect in life.
The reality is that each of us is a real human being with very real experiences. What makes me good at what I do is that I learned from my life experiences. I learned how to keep myself moving forward in the direction I want to go, no matter what life might throw at me. I learned that no matter how good your decisions are in the moment, that sometimes the outcome isn’t what you expected. And how to dust myself off and refocus on the next opportunity.
My life reminds me of those learnings and I have the opportunity to practice them again and again and again.
What makes me good at what I do is that I’m not so far removed from the everyday messiness of living life that I’ve forgotten what the struggle feels like. Because nothing feels worse to me than listening to a coach talking about their struggle from 10 years ago while pretending that everything is always perfect in their current life. That’s not real.
What makes you real, what makes you exceptional at living your life, is everything that you have experienced up until this moment and everything you are living through right now. You have handled the ‘stuff’ in your life a thousand different ways on a thousand different days. These are the experiences that temper you and give you the strength to keep creating the life you deserve to live.
I’m hungry to reclaim the truth of who I am. To reclaim it more and more every single day. And I know you are too. Pretending to be ‘perfect’ on the outside while you’re real, authentic and vulnerable on the inside just doesn’t cut it.
So today’s Year of Transformation challenge is about choosing to be real. To show up in your honesty and vulnerability. To get out of the ‘perfect’ world of Facebook humble bragging and pinterest-perfect parties and just be you. To have a conversation with your partner, your best friend, or even your colleagues about what’s real for you right now.
When we open up this space for each other, there is an opportunity for deepened connection and authentic relationship to emerge. Are you willing?
If you’re looking for a safe community to practice being open and vulnerable in, join us over at R.E.A.L. – Relationships, Encouragement, Accountability, Laughter. This private Facebook group is a space for women to share with each other, to seek support and hold each other accountable…and to have some good laughs along the way.