How to start again

how to start againWe all have periods in our lives when life feels like it is totally falling apart; losing a job, losing a home, serious illness, and other major changes. Where you feel like life as you know it is over, and all you can do is just stare and watch it fall apart…sort of like watching a car accident in slow motion.

You feel like you’ve lost your way, and really have no clue how to find yourself again. How to start again.

Odds are you’ve been through challenges before, and you know that somehow life moves on.  And, in the depths of the sense of having lost your way, you also find a sense of determination to use this situation to make your life better.  To begin to live a life of possibility. To begin to live life fully and on your own terms.

But how?

Tap Into Your Future Self.

So often, we think we need to have these great big plans for our lives.  5 years mapped out carefully, with each milestone giving us permission to achieve the next goal.  But those plans simply aren’t realistic.  Think about how much your life has changed in the last 5 years. How much the world has changed.

Instead, make it short, simple and fun.  Pretend you are your future self.  One year from today.  And you’re sitting down to write a letter of gratitude.  Start it with Dear Universe (or whoever you want to write to), I am so grateful that… and then give yourself full permission to be creative.  What are you grateful to have experienced in this last year? What are you grateful to have learned? What are you grateful to have accomplished?

Dare to dream. Dare to step fully into a life of possibility.

Don’t look back. What you want isn’t there anyway.

Your memories are important. What you have experienced has played a major role in shaping who you are. Your memories are also in the past.  They represent what was…not what might be.

Honor your past. Just don’t use it to frame your future.  Focus on what you want in your new work, rather than what you miss about your old job. Imagine the possibilities and fulfillment of a new relationship without getting caught up in what you loved (or hated) about the last one. Imagine the experience of true health and make decisions that will let you live as that healthy vibrant being.

Don’t Be Embarrassed to Ask for Help

Thanks, in part, to social media, we live in a world where everyone’s lives seem perfect. And because of that perception and your own sense of pride, it can be difficult to ask for help.  What if you are judged? What if you don’t get the help you need? What if the person you ask holds your situation over your head for ever?  Scary, right?

It’s that kind of fear of embarrassment that holds people back from asking for help.

But think about it. If one of your girlfriends came to you, told you about something challenging going on in your life, and asked you for help, you’d drop everything to give her the support she needs.  Right?  You wouldn’t judge, nor ever hold it against her.  So, what is it that’s really holding you back?

How can you best be supported at this time? What is it that you would love for a friend or family member to do to help you right now? We’re all eager to help, we just often don’t know how.  Ask for what you need and feel the love that comes through the support you receive.

Most of All…Take Care of Yourself

When you have lost your way and are starting again, it’s important to take care of yourself.  The world is a better place when you’ve had a good night’s sleep, a good meal, and a walk in the great outdoors.

Taking care of yourself is also about making time to grieve the loss or change you’ve been experiencing.  Connecting with the parts of your life that feel good.  And getting out to do fun things.

Taking care of yourself will help you to be in good energy, to be able to approach life from a sense of possibility rather than a sense of lack, to be ready for the best possible outcomes as you reframe your life the way you want it to be.

Photo Credit: Mosaics by Chris on Flickr

Follow Rachel Bolton:

Rachel is a coach supporting women to rediscover who they are beyond the *shoulds* of life. To create and live life on purpose.

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